Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Online Dating and the Guy at the Bar

Let me tell you a story about the day where one guy on a dating website messaged me "can I stick my dick in your ear hole?" And I shared that story with several people because it was ridiculous and I knew they'd laugh or feel sympathy or whatever people do.

That same night I went to late night happy hour at my favorite restaurant bar and some guy started talking to me and so I walked around with him outside the mall and eventually we sat in front. I give you a list of things he said to me:
1. Do you like to watch guys jerk off?
2. Do you think you'd want to be my wing man?
3. Do you have any single friends who just want to have a good time and "want an Asian"?
4. Have you been to a BBW club? (Me: what's that? Him: big beautiful women. Me: um no).
5. He spent quite a while talking about an ex girlfriend that wouldn't put out enough and asked if he was an asshole for breaking up with her but not before he said something like "but don't you think she could just spread her legs and do it anyway because 'men have needs;". I was careful to differentiate. Yes, if you have different sexual needs you can leave the relationship. No, she's not your property to fuck as you please regardless of how she feels.
Him: Are you sure you don't want to watch me jerk off? 
Me: no.
Him: how bout just for 5 minutes? 
Me: no. 
Him: what about 3 minutes?

If it weren't so ridiculous, I might be embarrassed.

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