Saturday, August 20, 2016

Nice Guys/Cool Chicks

Yes, I know. I'm a cool chick. I don't get bent out of shape for small shit. You can get away with a lot more irresponsibility with me than most.  You can drink, smoke (on occasion), or play video games and I will hardly bat an eye.  You can go out with your guy friends on a semi-regular basis and even...dare I say it...have friends who are female.  HOWEVER, This unspoken cool chick contract comes with some provisions.  Don't lie, don't cheat, don't break any federal laws, don't be a dick.  Cuz, I'm not going to do those things.  

I know a lot of guys have this idea that being a "nice guy" is all they need to do.  A few have gone so far as to turn to violence (think shootings and social media blasting) because they were "nice guys" and it didn't work for them.  They were owed. They did the thing. They were nice. And it...didn't work.  Well, ya know what, tough guys?  Being nice is like breathing air.. it's not something we should have to strive for guys to be. They just shouldn't be selfish dicks. Because I get it. You aim to be a nice guy and you still can't get laid.  Maybe it shouldn't have been just about being nice this whole time. 

I want to clarify, I like a nice guy... but he has to also be compatible with me, I have to be attracted to him, etc.  Being nice is not a free pass.  It helps tremendously, but it is not a free pass!

I bring this up because, as a "cool chick", I feel that I've experienced the "nice guy" issue personally.  Now I get it. It's not enough to just be a "cool chick". Some guys are actually more compatible with more controlling or conventional women. OK. That's fine. 
Often a guy will think he wants a cool chick but finds it too unstructured and is unhappy. Likewise, a lot of women (tired of dating dicks) will go out with a guy just because "he's nice".  And it's great for a while. Until every conversation turns into an analysis of what was meant by something said or whatever.  

My point, to be clear, is that both Nice guys and Cool Chicks have their place, but we have the hardest time dating.  We want to connect but we end up going outside the conventions of our time.  Which shouldn't be the end of the world. I just think we need to keep looking. Most of us should find someone more compatible with our oddness and subtlety, eventually.

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